Coming round..

January's been kind of a bit of a blur.

my blog has been neglected............ and you know when you haven't talked to someone in a long time it feels kinda awkward to talk again.... kinda like well hmm I don't know what to say?
Well that's how I've been feeling.. that and if I'm honest, a whole lotta depression lately.

I don't like to be down on my blog but I don't like to lie either.This is my place to be just me-- even crazy me.
Winter is kinda a rough time-- It's beautiful

But rough for me. There's rarely sunshine it's cloudy a lot and it's to cold to get out and exercise or do a lot of projects-- heck it's to cold to get out at all for me especially with my kids in tow, the roads are slick and I am a paranoid driver- there's weeks that I'm stuck inside all the time--

I felt like I was doing okay this year-- I mean I've been actually making dinner for the fam{I know that one's a shocker-- I hate cooking} and Payton's been getting his homework done-we've been doing Brynley's school- the house is clean- laundry's all done and caught up- I didn't have a breakdown in church like I did last January- and that is always a big plus :) but..

I am halfway through book six in the harry potter series- and it's only been a week
I've been wearing Dave's T-shirts everyday- haven't showered in 3days {and even though Dave says he loves me still- all gross and stinky- I hate feeling that way- I like to be the wife dressed and looking good for hubby when he gets home}
I have had absolutely no desire to do or create anything like I usually do,
I've been comparing myself to other people in blogland and of course I always come up short -way short.
haven't felt like eating much, and I have wondered what the heck my purpose lately is.

All not really good signs-I see them- I recognize them-- but still it's hard to fight them and wake up nonetheless. So even though January has been so white and beautiful

 It's not been a good month for me.

but here's to turning a new leaf-- Life is always better when I realize that Heavenly Father loves me I'm his child, I don't have to be the best at anything {cuz I'm pretty sure I never will be} it's okay to be just me even if i'm crazy sometimes, and to just do the best with the talents he's givin me- and try to make my life something that when it's all said and done It will be well.

when all is said and done

as the season slips away

when i've taken steps beyond my sight

will i find my strength in greater light

will my courage grow with every passing day

and will my faith be constant as the setting sun

when all is said and done

when all is said and done

and the years have turned to gold

will my life become a legacy

of the things that matter most to me

will the fire of faith grow bright inside me

and will i want to be the person i've become

when all is said and done

when all is said and done

when my eyes can finally see

will i glory in the sweet release

and will mercy fill my soul with peace

will i kneel and wonder at the savior's feet

will i hear him say, "well done"

when he sees who i've become

will i live with him

when all is said and done 

My favorite song that always brings me to tears and touches my soul 

"when all is said and done" by Katherine Nelson